Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I actually pay taxes

How is sex in college like with roommates and big campuses?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can read

Why do I feel so lazy every time I get into my room?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Was Michael Jackson really an innocent person?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Has Anybody been gang banged? If yes, how many guys? Was it as much fun as looks on porn? Were you double penetrated? Answer all three questions - Elaborate.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I see through liars

My wife admitted to cheating on me with a married man. Should I tell this man and his wife that I know?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Musk Denies Ketamine Use Following New York Times Report - Bloomberg.com

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What is your best forbidden sex story that felt so right?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Regeneron Pharmaceuticals Crashes 19% On A Surprise Sanofi-Tied Failure - Investor's Business Daily

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Veteran strategist unveils updated gold price forecast - TheStreet

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why is Bollywood failing?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How do I explain to my husband that my 19-year-old son has accidentally gotten me pregnant?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Youth overdoses from synthetic opioids are increasing. What parents should know - CNN

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Global Investors Suddenly Have a New Concern: A U.S. ‘Revenge Tax’ - WSJ

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t cotton to rapists

The First At-Home Cervical Cancer Screening Device Was Approved by the FDA, Set to Roll Out This Year - Good News Network

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy bullshit

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes